婚姻幽默（中英文）

婚姻幽默（中英文）每句都精典！

 

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

如果有人搶了你的老婆，最好的報復就是讓他留著。

Lee Majors（美國電影明星 - 李.梅爾）

 

 

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together.

結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面·；他們不但不能面對面，而且還分不開。

Al Gore （克林頓當總統時的副總統 - 阿爾·戈爾）

 

 

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太，你會很幸福。假如你找到一個壞的，你會成為一個哲學家。

Socrates（古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家 - 蘇格拉底）

 

 

"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."

女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。

Mike Tyson（前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森）

 

 

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" 

有一個好問題我總是沒答案；那就是 "女人到底想要什麼？"

George Clooney（美國著名演員 - 喬治·克魯尼）

 

 

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." 

我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論。

Bill Clinton（美國前總統- 比爾.克林頓）

 

 

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光，音樂，和跳舞。她星期二去，我星期五去。

George W. Bush（美國前總統 - 小布希）

 

 

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." 

我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。

Rudy Giuliani（前紐約市911事件時的市長 - 魯迪.朱利安尼）

 

 

"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿：

1. 當你錯時，馬上認錯。

2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。

Shaquille O'Neal（美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾）

 

 

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。

Kobe Bryant（美國籃球巨星 - 科比·布萊恩特）

 

 

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了。

Alec Baldwin（美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫）

 

 

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。

Barack Obama（美國總統 - 歐巴馬）

 

 

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。

Tommy Lee（美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.李）

 

 

"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有個人驕傲的說 "我的太太是天使！"

另一個聽到的人說"你真幸運！我的還活著！"

Jimmy Kimmel（美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米.金米爾）

 

 

"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!"

"親愛的，女士優先又怎麼了？" 丈夫回答說，"今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為有女的先來了！"

David Letterman（美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛.萊特曼）