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2012年10月12日 星期五

男人與女人 七分與三分

男人與女人 七分與三分

田力合為男,女子合為好。

男人-難人也;女人-亦好人!

七畫是"男",三畫是"女","七"加"三"才是十全十美。

於是,男人拿走七分權利,女人只有三分的反抗!體力上男人是七,女人是三。但耐力上女人是七,男人是三。

所以面對情敵,男人們通常都是短兵相接,武力解決;女人則更喜歡明征暗鬥的拉距戰。

男人們聊天,七分談理想,三分談女人;女人們則七分談男人,三分談理想。於是男人征服世界贏得女人;女人征服男人贏得世界。

男人的誓言,七分是假,三分是真。於是,男人不壞,女人不愛;女人的外貌,三分靠長相,七分靠打扮,於是,男人膽大去經商,女人膽大不化妝。

女人都有七分的自信,三分的不確定,所以女人總是問男人"我穿這件衣服好嗎?男人則是七分的不耐煩加三分的敷衍,看都不看就道:真好看!

女人把自己的七分給了家,剩下三分給父母;男人的七分給事業,妻子,兒女,父母,情人分剩下的三分!於是,離婚時女人能得到七分的財產,而男人卻得到十分的自由。

在五彩繽紛的外部世界,女人占去七分色彩,只留下三分給男人,於是有"花"。

在同樣絢爛的內心世界,男人花七分去欣賞別的女人,只留給愛人三分的忠誠。於是有 "花花公子"。

男人希望女人三分嫵媚,七分苗條;女人則希望男人三頂烏紗,七根金條。

於是,男人常讚歎:"她真美!"女人常感慨:"他可真有錢!"

男人對感情三分情愛七分性愛,而女人則相反!所以,男人三分是人,七分是畜牲!

男人不喜歡七分精明的女人,就像女人不喜歡七分老實的男人。

有理想而令人動容的--奧巴馬夫人演講


 

美國第一夫人演講讓中國人目瞪口呆!令人動容的奧巴馬夫人演講

 

 

--有中文翻譯

 

如果下次的台灣總統選舉也要求競選人賢內助也必須要參與發表對國家社會的看法和想法。

我相信這樣也許可以看出這個國家的領導人的家庭能對這社會帶來怎麼樣的啟發和責任 !

 

令人動容的奧巴馬夫人演講
美國總統夫人米歇爾·奧巴馬Michelle Obama201294日在美國民主黨全國大會DNC上的演說,這是其中的高潮部分。

這篇演講堪比當年馬丁.路德.金的演講《I have a dream

什麼時候可以聽到我們的領導人有如此令人動容的演講,而且能讓我們聽到、看到,我們淚流滿面的無限期待。 。 。 。 。 。 

 

 

 

 

>>>>>>>>

When it comes to giving our kids the education they deserve, Barack knows that like me and like so many of you, he never could've attended college without financial aid.


And believe it or not, when we were first married, our combined monthly student loan bills were actually higher than our mortgage.


We were so young, so in love, and so in debt.


That's why Barack has fought so hard to increase student aid and keep interest rates down, because he wants every young person to fulfill their promise and be able to attend college without a mountain of debt.


So in the end, for Barack, these issues aren't political – they're personal.


Because Barack knows what it means when a family struggles.


He knows what it means to want something more for your kids and grandkids.


Barack knows the American Dream because he's lived it...and he wants everyone in this country to have that same opportunity, no matter who we are, or where we're from, or what we look like, or who we love.


And he believes that when you've worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity...you do not slam it shut behind you...you reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.


So when people ask me whether being in the White House has changed my husband, I can honestly say that when it comes to his character, and his convictions, and his heart, Barack Obama is still the same man I fell in love with all those years ago.


He's the same man who started his career by turning down high paying jobs and instead working in struggling neighborhoods where a steel plant had shut down, fighting to rebuild those communities and get folks back to work...because for Barack, success isn't about how much money you make, it's about the difference you make in people's lives.


He's the same man who, when our girls were first born, would anxiously check their cribs every few minutes to ensure they were still breathing, proudly showing them off to everyone we knew.


That's the man who sits down with me and our girls for dinner nearly every night, patiently answering their questions about issues in the news, and strategizing about middle school friendships.


That's the man I see in those quiet moments late at night, hunched over his desk, poring over the letters people have sent him.


The letter from the father struggling to pay his bills...from the woman dying of cancer whose insurance company won't cover her care...from the young person with so much promise but so few opportunities.


I see the concern in his eyes...and I hear the determination in his voice as he tells me, "You won't believe what these folks are going through, Michelle...it's not right. We've got to keep working to fix this. We've got so much more to do."


I see how those stories – our collection of struggles and hopes and dreams – I see how that's what drives Barack Obama every single day.


And I didn't think it was possible, but today, I love my husband even more than I did four years ago...even more than I did 23 years ago, when we first met.


I love that he's never forgotten how he started.


I love that we can trust Barack to do what he says he's going to do, even when it's hard – especially when it's hard.


I love that for Barack, there is no such thing as "us" and "them" – he doesn't care whether you're a Democrat, a Republican, or none of the above...he knows that we all love our country...and he's always ready to listen to good ideas...he's always looking for the very best in everyone he meets.


And I love that even in the toughest moments, when we're all sweating it – when we're worried that the bill won't pass, and it seems like all is lost – Barack never lets himself get distracted by the chatter and the noise.


Just like his grandmother, he just keeps getting up and moving forward...with patience and wisdom, and courage and grace.


And he reminds me that we are playing a long game here...and that change is hard, and change is slow, and it never happens all at once.


But eventually we get there, we always do.


We get there because of folks like my Dad...folks like Barack's grandmother...men and women who said to themselves, "I may not have a chance to fulfill my dreams, but maybe my children will...maybe my grandchildren will."


So many of us stand here tonight because of their sacrifice, and longing, and steadfast love...because time and again, they swallowed their fears and doubts and did what was hard.


So today, when the challenges we face start to seem overwhelming – or even impossible – let us never forget that doing the impossible is the history of this nation...it's who we are as Americans...it's how this country was built.


And if our parents and grandparents could toil and struggle for us...if they could raise beams of steel to the sky, send a man to the moon, and connect the world with the touch of a button...then surely we can keep on sacrificing and building for our own kids and grandkids.


And if so many brave men and women could wear our country's uniform and sacrifice their lives for our most fundamental rights...then surely we can do our part as citizens of this great democracy to exercise those rights...surely, we can get to the polls and make our voices heard on Election Day.


If farmers and blacksmiths could win independence from an empire...if immigrants could leave behind everything they knew for a better life on our shores...if women could be dragged to jail for seeking the vote...if a generation could defeat a depression, and define greatness for all time...if a young preacher could lift us to the mountaintop with his righteous dream...and if proud Americans can be who they are and boldly stand at the altar with who they love...then surely, surely we can give everyone in this country a fair chance at that great American Dream.


Because in the end, more than anything else, that is the story of this country – the story of unwavering hope grounded in unyielding struggle.


That is what has made my story, and Barack's story, and so many other American stories possible.


And I say all of this tonight not just as First Lady...and not just as a wife.


You see, at the end of the day, my most important title is still "mom-in-chief."


My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the center of my world.


But today, I have none of those worries from four years ago about whether Barack and I were doing what's best for our girls.


Because today, I know from experience that if I truly want to leave a better world for my daughters, and all our sons and daughters...if we want to give all our children a foundation for their dreams and opportunities worthy of their promise...if we want to give them that sense of limitless possibility – that belief that here in America, there is always something better out there if you're willing to work for it...then we must work like never before...and we must once again come together and stand together for the man we can trust to keep moving this great country forward...my husband, our President, President Barack Obama.


Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America. 

 

 

 



懷念過往的理由


 

懷念過往的理由
 
 
 
 



男人這樣拍、女人那樣拍,Instagram 告訴你男女拍照重點大不同


男人這樣拍、女人那樣拍,Instagram 告訴你男女拍照重點大不同

 
Instagram 自從被 Facebook 10億美元買下後,名氣大增,也在推出 Android App 後用戶數暴衝。你有在用 Instagram 拍照嗎?從拍照內容也可以看出男、女之間的想法、構圖重點大不同。國外網站 BuzzFeed 整理了11個主題,來看看男女會拍出那些「差很大」的結果。
 
之前 T客邦寫過一篇看美女、裸女、猛男,男女焦點大不同!眼球追踨技術大揭密」,頗受歡迎,可見許多人對男女差別的內容還蠻有興趣的,最近國外網站 BuzzFeed 收集了 Instagram 上面的一些照片,跟大家分享男、女拍照時,同樣的主題會拍出什麼不同的內容,不知大家看完後,是否認同呢? 
 
以下有11組照片,代表11種不同的主題,第一張都是女性拍的,而第2張則都是男性拍的。
 
1、嬰兒很可愛,男女都愛拍,但是
 
2、寵物也很可愛,但男女的焦點差好大
 
3、在海灘看到猛男,男、女會注意什麼不同的地方
 
4、如果在海灘隨便拍,男女實在差很大
 
5、拍婚禮時,構圖會有什麼差異?
 
6、看到車子時,你會注意什麼?
 
7、什麼是健康食物?男女的定義也差太多了吧
 
8、來!拍一下你的新髮型
 
9、男人拍招牌也要惡搞一下!Cock 是什麼,你知道的
 
10、跟你分享我吃的東西
 
11、這朵雲的形狀好特別,趕快拍下來

 

天才學生的造句

天才學生的造句

 

這還算是造句嗎?您若是老師改考卷時看到這種造句,會給分嗎?

 

從前:小明從前門進來。

能幹:政府很無能,幹!

一本正經:哥哥的書沒有一本正經的。

你娘卡好:告訴你娘卡好大水餃真不錯吃,下次再買。

團結:今天早上吃了一個飯團結果拉肚子。

永別:蔡康永別再鬧了。

龜毛:我養的烏龜毛病很多。

白爛:供桌上的水果就這樣平白爛掉,好可惜 。

雄才大略:吳伯雄才大略瞭解秘書長的職務就下臺了。

如果:美女小如果然漂亮...

智障:甲班的小智障礙賽跑第一名。

白癡:小白癡癡的在門前等小黑回來。

戰爭:謝長廷與連戰爭奪副總統的寶座。 

和平:焦仁和平白無故的被老師打,真是倒楣。

人參:老師說明天每個人參加大隊接力時,一定要儘力。

學長:這本經濟學長篇大論的,我實在唸不下去了。

難過:馬路上車很多,好難過去。 

本來:用書本來打頭會很痛。 

棉被:小玉的衛生棉被偷了。 

王八:小王八成是個聾子。

便當:小明把大便當做每天早上起床第一件要做的事。

機會:我坐飛機會頭暈 。

想要:我不知道想要是什麼意思。

傳說:水滸傳說林沖是八十萬禁軍教頭。

明白:小明白白花了五十元。

長大:關雲長大意失荊州。

天才:我昨天才從美國回來。 

吃飯:午餐買好了,臨時有事忘了吃,飯菜都涼啦...

急救:失火別急,救人第一 。 

天花:兒子啊!每天花錢花那麼多要死啊 ! 

水痘:保養果然有效,人越來越水痘子也都不見了。

霍亂:你再隨便揮霍亂花錢,老爸就不給你零用錢了。

......:先 總統蔣公後來死了。 

天天:今天天氣真好。 

明天:氣象播報員正在說明天氣概況。

白癡:他一臉慘白癡呆的望著鴨蛋的考卷。

探病:聽說大偵探病倒了。 

學生:女人要學生孩子。

餅乾:我覺得午餐吃蔥油餅乾乾的。

差不多:鄉下地方郵差不多。 

天才:氣象局說,明天才會下雨 。 

有染:爸爸和隔壁王媽媽都有染頭髮。

統一:李總統一直想要台獨。

村落:上次總統選舉郝伯村落選了。

港都:上次總統選舉郝伯村、林洋港都落選了。

安全:上次總統選舉郝伯村、林洋港、陳履安全都落選了。

中國人的順口溜



-- 中國人的順口溜

 

苦難的中國人真的很能自嘲來苦中做樂,否則何以為生?感謝那些創作順口溜(或「段子」)的朋友,帶給我們的不僅是歡樂,由於它很真實、寫實及諷刺現實,笑中有苦澀和無奈,甚至悲哀,發人深省,回味無窮。

 

1.

男人真有味,撒謊不慚愧!

明明在踩背,還說在單位,

偷偷在幽會,卻說酒喝醉,

回家開口工作累,倒床呼呼睡,

老婆若是獻嫵媚,假裝喊痛手捂胃!

 

2.

男人有外遇之徵狀:

公司天天加班,

家務從來不沾,

手機回家就關,

短信回完就刪,

上床呼嚕震天,

內褲經常反穿。

 

對照檢查符合三條屬於疑似,四條可確診。

 

3.

男人的死法:

看見美女?饞死!

搞到手裡?美死!

騙到房裡?急死!

睡到床上?累死!

老婆知道?嚇死!

爹娘知道?羞死!

領導知道?整死!

情敵知道?打死!

 

4.

天是藍的,海是深的,男人的話沒一句是真的;

愛是永恆的,血是鮮紅的,男人不打是不行的;

男人如果是有錢的,和誰都是有緣的;

男人靠得住,豬都會爬樹!

 

5.

男人八怕:

一怕情人懷孕,

二怕老婆拼命,

三怕「小姐」有病,

四怕群眾反映,

五怕情人被泡,

六怕麻將放炮,

七怕贓款被盜,

八怕偉哥失效。

 

6.

八大「不懂事」:

領導敬酒你不喝,

領導小姐你先摸,

領導走路你坐車,

領導講話你囉嗦,

領導私事你瞎說,

領導洗澡你先脫,

領導夾菜你轉桌,

領導聽牌你自摸。

 

7.

鬼混這事如果幹的好,就叫戀愛;

霸佔這事如果幹的好,就叫結婚;

性冷淡這事,如果幹的好就叫嚴守貞操;

陽痿這事,如果瞞的好就叫坐懷不亂。

 

8.

年輕時找個漂亮好看的,

結婚時找個勤勞能幹的,

離婚後找個腰纏萬貫的,

死了找個陰魂不散的。

 

9.

男人,總是笑容滿面,兩眼放電,不是發病犯賤,就是坑矇拐騙!

 

女人豐胸細腰,放蕩風騷,不是掏你腰包,就是放你黑刀!

 

這年月男怪女妖,小心中招!

 

10.

這年頭,

老婆像「小靈通」,經濟實惠但限本地使用;

二奶像「中國電信」,安全固定但帶不出門;

小蜜像「中國移動」,使用方便但話費太貴;

情人像「中國聯通」,優雅新潮但常不在服務區!

 

11.

現如今,

窮吃肉,富吃蝦,有錢有勢吃王八;

冤上訪,悶上網,官場如戰場;

男盼高,女盼瘦,狗穿衣裳人露肉;

愛怕丟,情怕偷,佔居要職的怕退休!

 

12.

結婚叫入網,

重婚叫一卡雙號,

婚外戀叫呼叫轉移,

情人多了叫移動夢網,

離婚叫銷號,

分居叫停機保號,

復婚叫復機,

女人再婚叫過戶,

男人再婚叫補卡。

 

13.

可憐的男人:

事業是國家的,

榮譽是單位的,

成績是領導的,

工資是老婆的,

財產是兒子的,

錯誤是自己的。

 

14.

這年頭,

女人漂亮的不下廚房,下廚房的不溫柔,

溫柔的亂花錢,亂花錢的不時尚,

時尚的不放心,放心的沒法看。

 

15.

司機掙錢見人就拉,

會計用錢筆下生花,

領導用錢簽字畫押,

「大師」掙錢上臺比劃,

女人用錢男人身上刮,

娃娃用錢就喊爹媽,

醫生用錢在病人肚皮上剮。

 

16.

男人累,所以才會去敲背;

男人愁,所以才想去洗頭;

男人苦,所以經常才會賭;

男人忙,所以經常上錯床。

男人容易嗎?

 

17.

老婆一發火,男人就得躲;

老婆一發飆,男人就悄悄;

老婆一發福,男人就失足;

老婆一發財,男人就下臺。

 

18.

學問之美,在於使人一頭霧水;

詩歌之美,在於煽動男女的事;

女人 之美,在於蠢得無怨無悔;

男人之美,在於說謊說得白日見鬼。

 

19.

酒啊,

裝在瓶裡像水,

喝到肚裡鬧鬼,

說起話來走嘴,

走起路來閃腿,

躺到床上陽痿,

半夜起來找水,

早上起來後悔,

中午端起酒杯還是很美!

 

20.

在別人家上廁所的四大尷尬:

拉完了沒紙;

拉完了擦完了沒水;

拉完了擦完了有水沒沖下去;

拉完了擦完了有水也沖下去了可是又飄上來了。

 

21.

老婆是操作系統,一旦安裝卸載十分麻煩;

小秘是桌面,只要你有興趣可以天天更換;

情人是互聯網,風光無限花錢不斷;

小姐是盜版軟件,用時記著先殺毒!

 

22.

男人男人真可憐,拼死拼活要掙錢,

對著老婆嘴巴甜,鈔票上交不能免,

養個情人也危險,摸摸口袋這麼扁,

為啥不長帥一點,乾脆做個小白臉。

 

23.

真不明白,

女孩買很多很多漂亮衣服穿,

就是為了吸引男孩的目光,

但男孩想看的,卻是不穿衣服的女孩。

 

24.

相戀相愛青蘋果,

暗戀相愛無花果,

一見鍾情開心果,

自由戀愛無結果,

真心相愛吃糖果,

偷情相愛吃苦果,

閃電相愛吃禁果,

多情相愛吃後果,

你想吃到什麼果?

 

25.

單身是山路,

戀愛是大路,

分手是叉路,

試婚是探路,

結婚是絕路,

重婚是短路,

離婚是活路,

再婚是死路,

婚外戀是快活路。

請問你現在在混哪條路?

 

26.

家窮人醜一米四九,

小學文化農村戶口,

破屋三間薄田一畝,

冷鍋熱灶老婆沒有,

一年四季藥不離口,

今日短信廣徵女友,

革命道路並肩攜手,

你願意否?

 

27.

生活真蹉跎,總是煩惱多,

於是費心思,找個帥哥哥,

一起跳跳舞,沒事唱情歌;

沒過三天半,帥哥變惡魔,

冷戰十幾天,從此各過各;

回首來時路,單身最快活。

 

28.

勸你外面少摘花,畢竟你還有個家,

社會風氣是不好,家中紅旗並沒倒,

外面彩旗飄就飄,家庭作業也要交,

花點小錢無所謂,搞垮身體就不對。

 

29.

男人不醉,女人怎麼有小費;

女人不醉,男人怎麼有機會;

女人男人都不醉,賓館沒人睡。

 

30.

初戀情人是全新版,

舊情復燃是翻新版,

婚前同居是試行版,

新婚之夜是正版,

愛上寡婦是修訂版,

勾引人妻是盜版。

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