They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!'
What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
A little boy went up to his father and asked :
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied:
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'
婚姻幽默
他們說，婚姻讓男人暈了，這是真的。
只要我有妻子，我失去了平衡在銀行。
男人要3素質妻子：經濟學家在廚房，藝術家在家裡與魔鬼在床上。
但他們得到的藝術家在廚房裡，魔鬼在家裡和經濟學家在床。
問：為什麼女人比男人長壽？
答：購物永遠不會導致心臟攻擊，但付賬呢！
婚前：玫瑰是紅色的，天空是藍色的。 U R漂亮，我LUV的ü。
婚後：玫瑰是死了，我的藍色。 U R我的頭痛，有一天我會殺了ü。
結婚是很喜歡去一家餐廳與朋友。
您訂購你想要什麼，然後當你看到其他人
有，你希望你下令。
男人：有什麼辦法適用壽命長？
醫生：結婚了。
男人：它會幫助？
醫生：沒有，但壽命長的思想永遠不會到來。
為什麼夫妻他們的婚禮在牽手？
這就像兩個拳擊手握手的戰鬥開始前一種形式！
妻子：親愛的，今天是我們的結婚紀念日，我們應該怎樣做？
老公：讓我們默哀2分鐘。
什麼的黑幫老大的兒子告訴他的父親時，他沒有自己的檢查？
"爸爸，他們質疑我3個小時，但我從來沒有告訴他們任何事情！"
什麼是人誰在教堂祈禱，那些誰在賭場祈禱的區別？
在賭場的那些是嚴重的。
當我年輕時，我祈求一輛自行車，
後來我意識到，上帝辦事兒不是這個辦法，
所以我偷了一輛自行車，祈求寬恕。
一個小男孩走到他的父親，問：
"爸爸，做了所有我的智力從何而來？"
父親回答說：
"好吧，兒子，你必須從你的母親得到它，因為我還有我的。"
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